Yaoi Fangirls' Inner Mind
by TheOtakuKnight
Summary: Okay. You know it's true. You yaoi fanpeople do this stuff all the time. I do this stuff all the time! I just thought to myself, "Hey. We're all pervs here. Why not write a story about it!" And so I did. I made a series of short one-shots about different Hetalia couples. In different scenarios. With a yaoi fangirl. This can't end well. Yaoi forever! Read and enjoy!
1. AmeCan

**I put this story under America's name because...He's the hero!**

**Rem is my OC character. She's a pervert... She has silver hair, white eyes, and she wears glasses...Why do most perverts have glasses!? It's always the ones with the glasses... Whatever. Proceed to the story! **

* * *

**In The Meeting Room!**

America: Okay, dudes! I suggest that we put aside our differences and join together under the American flag! This way, we'll all be happy! I'll be the hero and ya'll can be the supporting cast!

Rem: Bro. . .I don't think that's such a good idea. . .

America: What? Why not!?

Rem: Cause. . .I'm totally the hero!

America: What!? No way, dudette!

While those two bicker like 3 year-old kids over the last cookie in the jar, France and England get into a fight of their own.

England: Shut up, frog! I will not marry you!

France: Aw! Why not!? Come on, Britain! I need the money!

England: See! You're only in this for the money!

France: So if I wasn't in it for the money. . .you'd marry me?

France smirked and England blushed.

England: Shut up, you bloody git!

While those two bicker like a married couple fighting over who pays what bill, Russia's _sneaky_ hands find their way to China's ass.

China: Aya! What do you think you're doing, aru!?

Russia: Having a little fun with my dear China. Kolkolkolkol!

China gets freaked out and starts yelling at Russia.

Everyone seems to be busy yelling at another. Geez. Another meeting down the drain.

Rem: Hey wait a minute!

America: What?

Rem: . . . .Oh my Lord! Canada! How long have you been sitting there by yourself!?

Canada: A-A while actually..

America: Bro! You need to speak up sometimes! I had no idea you were even at this meeting!

Canada: I'm sorry, eh...

America: Geez.

Rem began to think. This is a great scenario...I mean, just think about.

~~~~~~~~~~**This means she's having a vision/thought!**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

America: You need to speak up, bro!

Canada: I-I kinda like being quiet though. . .No one notices me anyways. . .

Canada's bangs covered his face. Just thinking about that topic makes him sad. No one seems to notice him at all! Even Sealand's more popular! And that's saying a lot!

Canada began to sob quietly into his arm.

America: B-Bro? Bro! Don't cry!

Canada: I-I'm sorry. It's just...N-No one seems to notice me and...I-It just makes me all sad and stuff..

America gently lifted Canada's face with two fingers.

America: I notice you.

Canada began to blush. And let me just tell ya, Canada's face was just the cutest thing! He had small tears lined on the corner of his eyes and his face was all flushed! Cute!

So there's no surprise that America kissed him.

When he pulled away:

Canada: A-Alfred..?

America lightly pushed Canada back on the table.

And he whispered into his ear:

I love you.

Canada relaxed as America kissed up and down his neck. America worked on the buttons on Canada's shirt then he-

**Rem! Rem! Answer me dammit!**

Rem: W-What?

America: Dude. You totally got a nosebleed. What the hell were you thinking about?

Rem: NOTHING!

America: Sounds like something to me.

Rem: Let's go get some hamburgers, Al!

America's eyes lit up.

America: Really!? Yay!

He ran out the door.

Rem: You too, Canada. Let''s go.

Canada: O-Okay!

And so they left to go get some hamburgers...That Rem and Canada didn't even want. . .


	2. Itacest

**At Italy's House. . .Romano's in Bed. . .**

Italy: Germany! Germany! Help!

Germany rushed over to Italy's house, gun in hand. He just got a call from Italy! Romano's in bed and he sounded like he was getting raped! Would Romano even stoop to such a level!?

He burst through the door.

Germany: Italy are you oka-. . . .

Italy: I've been waiting for you Germany!

Germany: So it was just hair...

-**The Next Day**-

Rem: Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Germany: Stop laughing. It isn't funny.

Rem: Haaa. . .you're right. . .

Germany: Thank you.

Rem: It's hysterical! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha haha!

Germany: *sigh* Whatever... I'm glad it didn't get any worse than it did, though.

Rem: What do you mean?

Germany: You know their curls are their erogenous zones...right?

Rem: What!? Really!?

Germany: Yeah.

Rem: Then what would've happened if it had gotten worse...?

* * *

Italy: Aaa~ R-Roma~

Romano: S-Stop moving dammit- aaah~! If you keep moving, they'll only get more tangled- mmmgh~!

Italy: Haa... Haa! But it feels so good~ I can't help it, Lovi~!

Romano had to agree. This felt like heaven. His adorable _sexy_ baby brother was writhing underneath him, moaning his heart out, and their curls were tangled together. What could be hotter-. . .

Italy forced his tongue into Roma's mouth. . .So THAT'S how this could get hotter. .

Romano grinded his hips against Italy's and they both moaned into the kiss.

Italy: I'm gonna cu- Ooooh~!

They were both sent over the edge.

* * *

Rem woke up in a hospital bed.

Rem: G-Germany..? What happened?

Germany: I don't know. We were talking, then all of a sudden, you started gushing blood out of your nose.

. . . . . . . . .Well damn. . . . . .


	3. Bad Touch Trio

**There is no scene I can think of. . .So...At the bar!**

Prussia: Kesesesese~ I love beer.

Prussia chugged down his 5th round.

Rem: I know right!

Rem chugged down her 4th round.

Rem: Bro! Drinking contest!

Prussia: You're on!

Rem: Loser has to follow the winner's every order for a day!

Prussia: Bring it!

And. . .They're off!

Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug!

Spain: What would you do if you won. Francis?

France: I would have sex with y'all, of course! Honhonhonhon!

Spain shivered.

Ya know, excluding Rem, that'd be pretty hot. . .

* * *

And Francis wins!

Spain and Prussia sighed.

Prussia: So, what do ya want to do?

France: I wanna sleep with you~.

Prussia and Spain nodded and they headed to the France's house.

Once they arrived, they went straight to France's room.

Spain: Geez, it's so hot in here.

Prussia: Yeah, seriously!

France: Then why don't you start stripping~?

Sigh.

They reluctantly agreed. In a matter of minutes, they were all naked and sitting on the bed.

France crawled over to Spain.

France: I'll start with you. Antonio~.

France kissed Spain, tongue and all. Spain moaned into the kiss. France grinded his hips against Spain's, which cause Spain to moan louder into the kiss.

Prussia sat on the other side of the bed. Watching his best friends do. . . .that. . .was surprisingly hot. And it turned him on... big time...

So like any horny guy, he decided to take care of his problem.

France was lost in the heat of the moment. Good Lord this was hot. He was about to lean down and kiss Antonio again when he heard a loud moan from the other side of the bed.

He looked up and saw Gilbert with three fingers inside of himself. He had his eyes shut and his face was flushed.

France lifted himself off of Spain, much to Spain's dismay.

Francis crawled over to Gilbert and kissed him.

What first started as a peck on the lips turned into a heated make out session. France pulled Gilbert's fingers out and replaced it with his..._ Eiffel Tower._

Prussia: Aaaaaaah~! F-Francis~!

France started out slow, but gradually picked up the pace.

Spain felt left out and crawled up to Prussia. He took Gil's length into his mouth.

Prussia: Ooooh~! Tonio~ That f-feels so good~ Mmmgh~!

Spain decided that he'd have to finish himself, and in a few short minutes, he came.

A few thrusts later, France came inside of Prussia which, in turn, made Prussia cum too.

* * *

Spain: Prussia won. 15 to 14.

France: Yeah. But do you think Rem will be alright? She was about to catch up, then she had a massive nosebleed.

Prussia: _Hiccup!_

Spain: Prussia's high off his ass. Maybe it's the same with Rem?

France: Still doesn't explain the nosebleed...

Rem: _Hiccup!_


	4. SpaMano

**At Spain's House!**

Rem burst through Spain's door!

Rem: Hey Spain! How you doing toda-...!

. . . . . .

Rem: Romano! What have you done to Spain!?

Romano: That bastard pulled on my curl!

Rem got on her knees and looked chibi Romano in the eyes.

Rem: Did you ask him to stop before you, somehow, made him spit up blood?

Romano: Yeah! But that asshole kept doing it! He was ranting on about something and wouldn't listen to me!

Tears started forming in little Romano's eyes.

Rem: Ah! Roma! Don't cry!

Romano: I'm not *sniff* crying, you bastard! *sniff*

Rem: I'll go make us some pasta! Does that sound good?

Romano wipes away his tears and smiled.

Romano: Yay!

* * *

**Time Skip!**

* * *

Rem had taken tiny Romano to bed and read him a story. He fell asleep. Cute!

Rem rushed back upstairs. Spain was still crouched over in a ball on the bed.

Rem: Spain! Are you okay!? Sorry it took so long for me to get back! Are you alright!?

Spain: S-Si...I'm alright.

Rem sighed in relief.

Rem: So you pulled on his curl, huh?

Spain: Yeah...

Rem: Is his curl his erogenous zone like Italy's? Germany told me something about that once... (Referring to my Itacest chapter.)

Spain: Yeah. But I totally forgot about that...and he tried to kill me!

Rem: Aw! Cheer up, Spain! You didn't die so it'll be alright!

Spain: You're really bad at this whole motivational speech thing.

Rem: Yeah. . .I know I am...

Spain sighed.

Rem: But you know. . .if you add a couple of years onto Roma.. .I bet that scene would've turned out **completely **different.

* * *

Romano: Aaah~ Ooh~! S-Spain~!

Spain yanked his curl harder.

Romano: AAAH~!

Spain couldn't take this much longer! He was hard as a rock and a moaning Romano wasn't helping.

Spain let go of the Italian's curl and took off their pants.

Spain: Suck, please.

And so Romano did. After he finished, Spain pushed them into the younger country.

Romano: Aah~ Spain~ That hurts! G-Go slower~!

Once he adjusted, Spain pushed inside.

Romano moaned.

He set a fast steady pace.

Romano: Oooh~! Spain! I'm gonna- Aah~!

* * *

Rem: /nosebleed

Spain sweatdropped.

Spain: Pervert. . .


	5. GerIta

**Italy and Germany have formed an Alliance!**

Germany: We don't have to kiss, do we?

Italy: Nope! Unless you want to!

***GerIta GerIta GerIta GerIta GerIta GerIta*******

Rem: Hahahahaha You really asked that!?

Germany: I never had a friend before that! So I didn't really know what to say or how to act!

Rem: Wow. Really? You must be really socially awkward, then. . .

Germany: I am not!

Rem: Whatever. .

Italy burst through the door.

Italy: Germany! Germany! Help me, Germany!

Germany: What is it now?

Rem: Wow! A cat bit him!

Germany: How do you know-. . .

He looked down to see a cat latched onto Italy's leg.

Italy: Ow ow ow ow ow! Get it off!

Germany pried the cat off of Italy's leg.

Italy: Ve! Thank you, Germany!

Germany got up and took the cat outside.

Rem: Would you REALLY have kissed Germany if he wanted you to?

Italy: Ve! Of course! I love Germany!

Rem: I could totally see something like that go down...

* * *

Germany: We don't have to kiss, do we?

Italy: Not unless you want to!

Germany blushed.

Germany: W-Well. . . .Then. . .

Germany leaned over and kissed Italy.

He licked the Italian's bottom lip, asking fo permission to take the kiss further.

Italy parted his lips a bit, and Germany slid his tongue inside.

Italy moaned into the kiss. Germany's hand slid under Italy's shirt and he slid his hand down Feli's stomach.

This caused Italy to shiver.

When they finally parted, Germany proceeded to take off Italy's shirt.

Then he-

* * *

Germany: Sorry to interrupt your delusion! But we were outside! There is no way in hell that would ever happen!

Rem: Aw! Dammit! Where y'all anywhere REMOTELY close to a house? Or a love hotel? Or something!?

Germany: No.

Rem: Awww! You suck!

ItalY: Ve~ Rem's a perv!

Rem: All of us fanpeople are.

And then she left the room.


	6. PruCan

**I have no scene to use! Oh well. . . **

Rem: Sup, Prussia! I haven't seen you since the Bad Touch Trio chapter!

Prussia: Sup, Rem. Long time no see!

Rem: Hope ya don't mind, but I brought Canada!

Canada: H-Hi..

Prussia: You remind me of someone. . .

Rem: Probably America!

Prussia: Yeah! That's it!

Canada: T-That's cause I'm his brother. . .

Prussia: Wow! Really? You look and sound nothing like him!

Canada: Good.

Prussia blinked, confused.

Rem: Everyone seems to get them mixed up and Canada sometimes gets hurt.

Prussia: Poor you. That's so not awesome.

Rem: But you know what is awesome!?

Canada: N-No...What?

Rem: Okay. This just popped into my head. ~

* * *

Canada sobbed into his hands.

He was just beaten up by England, who had mistaken him for America.

He had a giant purple bruise on his right cheek.

Prussia: Hey, Birdie! What's up-. . .What's wrong!?

Canada: I was b-beaten up *sniff* by England.

Prussia looked at Canada's cheek. It made him feel all sad, looking at one of his friends crying.

Prussia leaned over and kissed Canada's bruised cheek. (Lightly of course.)

Canada looked at him with wide eyes.

Canada: G-Gilbert? W-Why'd you. . .?

Prussia leaned in and stole a kiss from the Canadian.

Prussia leaned back and sat in a chair.

Prussia: Sorry, Birdie. You looked so cute. . I couldn't help myself...

Canada blushed.

Canada:You think I'm. . .cute?

Prussia: Yeah.

Then he smirked.

Prussia picked Canada up bridal style.

Canada: Prussia! W-What are you doing!?

Prussia: I'm bout to take your vital regions, Birdie~. It's gonna be awesome~! Kesesesese~!

Canada gulped. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

Rem giggled, pervertedly. (You know. Like France.)

Canada buried his face in his hands. Prussia sweatdropped.

Prussia: Why are all of your thoughts in fanfic form?

Rem: Because I'm a fanfic writer!

Prussia: You scare me.

Rem: Meany.

Prussia: Pervert.


	7. Germancest

**Germany Won't Drink Beer!?**

Prussia: It's true! He won't!

Prussia cried then took another sip of his drink.

Rem: Well that just won't do!

Prussia nodded.

Rem: Do you know why he isn't drinking?

Prussia: Some diet or something. . .

Rem: GASP! No no no no no. No! Germany!? On a beer diet!? No way in hell! We'll have to come up with a way to get him back to the beer loving Germany we once knew!

Prussia: Yeah! . . . .How do we do that?

Rem smirked.

Rem: I can think of a couple ideas~.

* * *

Germany walked into his home.

Germany: Bruder. I'm home!

Prussia walked into the room, from the kitchen, with two beers in hand.

Prussia: Welcome back, West! Kesesese! Have a beer!

Germany: No thank you. I'm on a diet.

Prussia frowned. But he hadn't lost that easily!

Prussia approached his younger brother. He took some beer into his mouth then pressed their lips together.

Germany gasped into the kiss, which gave Prussia the opportunity to drain the beer into his the heated make out session, they both panted. Gasping for air.

Germany: _Hiccup_

Prussia: See! It's been so long since the last time you had one, that you're already drunk! From just one sip!

Germany suddenly pushed Prussia onto the couch and climbed ontop of him.

Germany: Would you like to give me some more~?

* * *

Rem: Hehehehehehe~

Prussia stared at her with a deadpan face.

Rem: What!?

Prussia: . . . .Really?

Rem: Well. . .I do have another way!

Prussia: Alright. Tell me.

* * *

Germany walked into his home.

Germany: Bruder, I'm home!

He looked around. But there was no Prussia. He went upstairs to see if he was there.

He walked into his brother's room. No Prussia.

He walked into the kitchen. No Prussia.

He walked into the bathroom. No Prussia.

He walked into his room. A sexy, naked Prussia covered in beer, handcuffed to his bed.

. . . .A sexy, naked Prussia covered in beer, handcuffed to his bed!?

Prussia: Hey there, West~.

Germany gulped.

Prussia: So~, I heard that you're on a beer diet~.

Germany nodded.

Prussia: That just won't do, West~! How bout we break that diet of your's~?

Germany, cautiously, walked over to his older brother.

Damn. He's missed his beer. And his brother is handcuffed to his bed covered in it!

What more could he ask for?

He leaned over and licked some of the beer off of Prussia chest.

So. Delicious!

He licked all over. And by _all over._ I mean _all over._

Prussia: A-Aaah~! West~!

* * *

Prussia: What the fuck is wrong with you!?

Rem: Everything.

Prussia: First France and Spain, next Canadia,

Rem: Canada.

Prussia: And now my own brother!?

Rem: Yup.

Prussia: What the FUCK is wrong with you!?

Rem: Everything.

Prussia walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

Rem: You thought it sounded hot. Right, Italy?

Italy popped out from under the table.

Italy: Vee~!

Italy covered his newly found. . .problem. . .

Rem smirked.

Rem: I thought so.


	8. SpaManoIta! Final Chapter!

**When Austria Gave Romano to Spain**

Spain: You really mean it!? I can have him!?

Austria: Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Take him.

Spain cheered.

Spain: I finally have an underling! I finally have an underling!

Spain burst through the door only to see a chibi Romano sitting in a destroyed room eating pizza.

Spain went into depression after that.

*****At Rem's House*****

Rem: Aww! Spain! Don't cry! Romano can't be that bad!

Spain: He doesn't do anything I say! He only sits around and eats tomatoes! Why couldn't I have Feli!?

Rem: There, there Spain. It could be worse! You could've had a chibi France or something.

Spain instantly stopped crying.

He looked at Rem for a moment.

Then he burst out crying again.

Rem: W-What's wrong!?

Spain: I just imagined a chibi France trying to molest me!

. . . .

Rem started crying.

Rem: Ewwww!

*****After They Both Recover*****

Rem: You still love Roma though. Right?

Spain: Yeah. He's adorable. But would it kill him to clean the house for once?

Rem: It'd kill me.

Spain: -_-

Rem: Sorry. Not helping.

Spain sighed. As did Rem.

Rem: Could you imagine having two teenage Italies?

Spain: Like, a teenage Roma and a teenage Feli?

Rem: Yeah.

Spain and Rem thought about it for a bit.

Spain & Rem: That'd be hot. . .

* * *

Feli: Aaah~! B-Boss! D-Don't pull on my cur- Aaah~!

Spain pulled the curl harder, causing Feli to moan even louder.

$$$$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$**At The Front Door**$^$^$^$^$^$$$$$$

Romano: Damn France. Squeezing my ass like that. I oughta kill him.

Romano unlocked the door and put the bag of tomatoes that he was carrying on the couch.

Romano: I wonder where Feli and that tomato bastard are. . . .

He walked to the staircase when, all of a sudden, he heard:

Oooooh~! B-Boss~! Mmmgh~~!

Romano: o.O

Wasn't that. . .Feli's voice!?

He dashed up the stairs and into to Spain's room.

When he opened the door. . .The most dreadful, horrifying, hottest scene Romano had ever seen flashed before his eyes. . .

Spain had three fingers inside of his younger brother and his other hand was on pulling on his curl.

Spain and Feli looked up to see a shocked Romano at the door.

Spain: Hey, Lovi! Wanna join us?

Romano: W-What the hell are you doing to my baby brother!?

Spain: Well. You see~. . .

Spain pushed his fingers back into Italy. Pressing against that special spot that made him see stars.

Feli: OOOOOOHH~! S-SPAIN~!

Spain: Feli came to me saying that he was all hot. . .So I decided to help him out!

Romano: AND YOU INSTANTLY ASSUMED THAT HE WAS HORNY!?

Spain: Well . . .Yeah. . .

Romano walked over to the bed and pulled Spain off of Italy.

Italy whined in protest.

FelI: A-Ah! Roma! What'd you do that for!?

Feli looked at him in the _**CUTEST**_ way!

His face was all red and lust was in his eyes. He looked like he needed _it._ And he needed it bad.

Romano: U-Uh. . .I, uh. . .Fine! I'll join y'all! But just this once!

Spain got off of the bed and wrapped his arms around Romano's waist. His fingers traveled to Romano's lower regions.

Romano: Mmmgh~!

Spain pulled off Romano's pants.

Italy crawled in front of him and took his length into his mouth.

Romano: Aaaaah~! Feli~!

* * *

Rem: Wait, Spain! Wait!

Spain: What!? It has just getting good!

Rem: I know! I know! But I was thinking. . .Maybe we should write this down. . .

. . . . . . .

Spain and Rem ran upstairs and got on the computer. Time to write a fanfic!

When they finished it. They uploaded it to fanfiction .net

$^$^$^$^$^$^ **Two Weeks Later** ^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$

Rem and Spain walked into the World Meeting.

All eyes were on them.

Rem & Spain: . . . .

Romano: I hate ya'll so much!

Romano punched them in the head and threw them back out the door.

Everyone in the World Meeting: Perverts.

* * *

The End~! Sorry fanpeople. I don't ship USUK. *Dodges everything that people throw at me* Well I'm sorry! I just don't like that pairing!

Hope you enjoyed the story. In the end. The main pervs were Spain and Rem. Well. That's all. Bye by-* hit in the head with a rock by a USUK fanperson*


	9. Bonus!: FrUk

**France Proposes!?**

Rem: Wow! Really!? He asked you to marry him!?

England: Yeah! Just because he's going broke!

Rem smirked.

Rem: So you'd marry him if he just asked you?

England: N-No! Shut up!

Rem: Aw! And y'all's romance could've been beautiful!

England: W-What do you mean by that?

Rem: Well. . .

* * *

France pushed England on his over sized bed.

(France: It was specially made just for making love~.

Rem: Well. At Least you know y'all won't run out of room. . .)

England: B-Bloody frog! What the hell are you doing!?

France: I'm about to do _you._ Honhonhonhon~!

England: O.o What!? Let go of me right now!

France pulled off England's shirt. He began to kiss down England's chest.

England sighed. All the struggle suddenly left him. It's not like he didn't like France. It's just that France's perverted actions got on his nerves.

(Rem: What? You thought England and France were enemies?

France: Honhonhonhon! It's just sexual tension~!)

France kissed England's neck, drawing out a moan from the Brit.

France slipped England out of his pants. Then he stripped himself.

England: F-Francis. . Hurry up!

France: So impatient, Arthur.

France pushed himself into England, and waited for him to adjust.

Once France deemed England as ready, he set a fast, steady pace.

England: Aah~! Haa haa~! Francis~!

* * *

England: What the hell, you bloody pervert!

Rem: Hey! It ain't my fault this time!

England: Oh really. Then whose fault is it!?

Rem got up and skipped to the door. She walked outside. Before she shut the door, she said:

Rem: It's Mr. Grell Michaelis' fault this time~!

She shut the door behind herself.

England got up and ran to the door. He slammed it back open.

England: Wait! Who the hell is Mr. Grell Michaelis!?

Rem: Bye, Arthur~!

And she skipped away. Off to torment another unsuspecting country.

. . . .Probably Russia.


	10. Bonus Bonus!: USUK

Today is the day! Today is the day that I show the Hetalia Fanfic Community my new writing style! It's been awhile, but I have accomplished something amazing! I have succeeded in writing in a way that doesn't look like a script from a play! Looks like I'm also a poet! Anyway...I present to you...My new writing st-

"Yo, Rem! What's up!"

"Oh my Gaara, America! You messed up my beautiful speech!" (Naruto Reference)

"What're you talking about?"

SIGH.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Oh, Okay!"

FACEPALM.

"Why are you here, America?"

"Oh yeah! I almost forgot about that! I'm going over Britain's house! You're coming with me!"

"Is that so?"

"Yup!"

America then grabs my arm and drags me -with abnormal strength- to Britain's house.

* * *

At England's Place:

"Yo, Britain! We're here!"

"Hello, America. I'm so unhappy you could make it."

"That's harsh, bro!"

"That was the point."

"Hi, Britain."

"Hello, Rem. Would you like to come in and have some scones?"

"Sure! I've never tried them before!"

-Well. That was the biggest mistake of my life.-

We sat down at the table and Britain pushed a plate of scones in front of me.

I grabbed one, put it in my mouth, and died.

**THE END. -Que Looney Tunes Music.- (Nostalgia Critic Reference!)**

Okay no. That didn't happen. It might as well have, but it didn't.

"I-I need to go to the restroom!"

"Okay. It's upstairs, first door to the right."

I dash up the stairs, never to be seen again.

**THE END. -Que Looney Tunes Music.-**

Again. That never happened. I wish it did though.

Well. Whatever. I serve no more purpose to the story, considering I'm in England's bathroom puking up my internal organs. So I'll hand over my job to an actual narrator. Take it away!

* * *

England and America sat on the couch in silence.

. . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . .

. . . ."What's taking Rem so long?"

"She's probably committing suicide after eating those lame excuses for food you call Scones."

"Wh- They're not THAT bad!"

"If you only knew, dude."

And with that...They sat in more silence.

. . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . .

"H-Hey, England."

"What?"

"So..Uh..Rem was telling me about this thing...called..."

"Called...?"

"USUK..."

"What in the world is that?"

"It's the US -me- in a relationship with the UK -you-."

"Wh-Wh-WHAT!?"

"I thought it was weird too...but sitting here alone with you...Is..."

"W-What are you doing!? Get off of me at once!"

America presses his lips against England's.

I'm guessing that America is one hell of a kisser, (Black Butler reference!) because any signs of struggle from the Englishman suddenly disappeared.

England began to kiss back and-

* * *

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU WRITING!?"

"Oh hi, England! I'm writing a USUK fanfic!"

"WHY!?"

"I'm doing this...For the fans!"

"LIKE HELL YOU ARE!"

"England! No! Let go of the fanfic! Put it down!"

"NEVER! MWAHAHAHA!"

"NOOOOO!"

Rem fell to the ground and sobbed over the torn up fanfic.

England dashed out of the room and left the house laughing maniacally.

Little did he know, that Rem has photographic memory. So every word had been preserved into her mind. She typed up the fanfic and the events that stopped her fanfic making, and began posting it to the very website that you're reading this on.

This is the fanfic she made. And she hopes you enjoyed it.

* * *

I'm on a role with these references! Now that I've made a USUK fanfic...I'm never doing it again! MWAHAHAHA /killed by angry fangirls


End file.
